'WORLD WAR, G!' by The Egg Party

Oh god. I'm sorry. If this is offensive I did not intend it to be so. Remember that the characters are played by robots and any resemblance to real figures is due to the fact that the robots were programmed and built that way. 

- The Egg Party

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World War, G!

by The Egg Party

So we were talking around many things. We eventually came to the topic of the future. You know, free will and all that nonsense. We tried to consider predetermination but could barely talk. Talking in between needing to empty our bladders every twenty minutes was difficult anyway.

We, three, sat on a hill. Cole, slouched on the grass, was absently picking through the longer stalks. George, Boy Detective was viewing the world through a lens of his camera occasionally taking photos. I was vomiting out my mouth. We were all bouncing ideas off of one another. Erratically. Frantically. So much to discuss. Time was moving gently forwards and backwards.  

Came to a point where we were discussing nuclear war. One of the great and confusing leaders of our time was Gandhi. We know of our current ideas of pacifism through his concepts of "satyagraha," or resistance through mass civil disobedience. So I started ramblin', I did. We all love science fiction. Let us speculate

As it happens, in the game Civilization Five Gandhi has a the highest inclination, from all the archetypal leaders, for creating and using nuclear weapons. It sat paradoxically with him being the most peaceful for the rest of the time. It was a bug which lead to one of the biggest behavioral changes of all history(virtually). See Figure 1.






Fig. 1

























                                       World War, G!

                      A Science Fiction Space Opera of Tomorrow-land

MAHATMAS GANDHI                                                         played by a robot
MRIDULA GANDHI                                                          played by a robot
GRAND NUCLEAR SECRETARIAT PALACE BUILDING IN NEW DEHLI                  played by a robot
MOST INTRICATE RUG KNOWN TO MAN                                         played by a robot
LONG CORD                                                               played by a robot
PEPPERCORNS (VARIOUS)                      played by Destiny the Oldest of Seven Eternals



ACT ONE

SCENE ONE

MAHATMAS is sitting on his throne in the center of the main room of the Grand Nuclear Secretariat Palace Building. To call it the main room is a slight misnomer. All the walls had been knocked down so that the entire interior was one vast open space. There might have been a toilet in one corner but it was too damn far to see. The name throne is slightly incorrect too for it does not hold to traditional images of a rulers seat. MAHATMAS straddles the seat which is shaped like a nuclear war head. On his head is a cowboy hat with a withered bamboo stalk coming from one side.

The other objects around him number in three. A giant albatross sits on a perch, also bamboo, with a small Indian Minor sitting anxiously on it's shoulder. A long cord dangles down the infinitely high ceiling. Finally a ginormous hand woven rug sits in front of him. It is impossible in it's detail. The vision it projects is of the known Geo-political world. Flanked on all sides are images of continual battle and warfare. Interspersed within those fights are Bāḷakō or the Children. These figures depicted Pilgrims from the greater Indian Federation all becoming brutalized as collateral damage e;red stains on their white clothes. The scene starts with Gandhi pulling the cord in his palace. All dialog is in Gujarati but is translated to English due to the author's impressive ignorance.

MAHATMAS Mridula, I need you. Come to me now. I cannot see for I do not wear my glasses

anymore but I do know you are out there.

MRIDULA enters the scene. Her hands are hidden from sight. She looks lovingly at Mahatmas who does not visually acknowledge her.

MRIDULA I wish you would wear your glasses Mahatmas it makes everything we do together 

so much more of a challenge.

MAHATMAS What more is there to see my love? I know as much of how the world work for me 

to be satisfied. It is a tiresome watch. I strive and strive. For what? Barbarism on all 

sides. Peace started as the answer but no more. Too many have died by the hands of other 

ferocious nations. For nothing more than standing in the way of their guns and pleading 

for peace.

MRIDULA I see you have not changed your tune since you rested. I had hoped in your 

dreams you would have found a new solution. Barbarity does not counter barbarity. An eye 

for an eye applies to you too, even if you cannot see. She sighs. I wish you would at 

least get down from that damn bomb. 

MAHATMAS Ignoring her plea he goes on. How many of my children have gone by that way 

too? How many of their children? 

MRIDULA Much too much.
 
MAHATMAS Too too much

MRIDULA I can only state my objections. I do not want you to go ahead with this but I 

will not stand in your way any longer.

In front of MRIDULA she holds out a martini glass full of pepper corns. She takes MAHATMAS' unseeing hand and gives him the glass. She then leaves the throne room. MAHATMAS takes a handful of peppercorns out of the glass.

MAHATMAS If I have gone mad it is not my doing. It is civilization that has created me 

and I shall not live with the responsibility of it. I will give the hard restart that 

the gods could not. I feel you peppercorns. I feel, even you, trying to dissuade me. 


Your vibrations are of no use so I would ask you to cease. 

Amazing! I feel my hand steady. 

Many will die. But that is not a change. More so many will be given the opportunity to 

refresh. Lose grip with their colonialists and oppressors. Start again in isolated 


pockets of humanity. Borders will no longer be of issue. Unless one crosses the borders 


into the territory of the wild. So it is. 

MAHATMAS takes the handful of peppercorns and throws them in a small arch. They fly though the air and land, dispersed, on the map of the world. With the last of his failing strength he pulls the cord again. Not once but continually until all life has left his body. His corpse lies face down on the bomb. The rest is left to individuals who will carry out his will above their own. The peppercorns vibrate on the rug. Each peppercorn burns a dark hole on planet. Scarring it for a time.

END SCENE

END ACT

END PLAY

BLUE CURTAIN OF DEATH SHUTS THE AUDIENCE OUT OF THE ATROCITIES

We sat on the hill and thought of all our decisions that led us to that moment. Life could be more enjoyable if we accepted the loss of control, feel the peppercorns *plink* against our foreheads. But God was not our virus, our bug. Our main fault was in looking for pattern and trying to tie down reality to our individual needs.

We decided to leave in silence. If we attempted to talk we would have most likely wet our trousers. It was a long walk into the wild to make a toilet. 

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