Second episode. Not sure if this is any good. This one is about sexual assault. How the behaviour develops. Or it's a fucking joke. Who knows?
I think the third one is the best, frankly. It is about WAR.
Anyway I'm going to put two up now and then put up something different because fuck this for a game of soldiers.
Link: Episode 1
Link: Episode 3
- The Egg Party
Hmm. Alright. Well, anyway. This is... ahhhhhhh.... this is a story about Trump. This'll get the hits, right?
I took the script from Forrest Gump and
I'm slowly changing it. Here is the first episode. I am finding this form of writing very meditative. Just calmly turning Forrest Gump evil. Here is the original script:
I will keep putting up a story every month but I'll slowly work on this side hussle when I'm bored or anxious. It is the bonus round. Sometimes it helps. It is like playing Mario to relax; you keep dying but convince yourself that you're enjoying it.
This episode is focused on the fact that Trump ridiculed someone with a disability, the action of a horribly ignorant human being.
A political piece! How risqué.
- The Egg Party
'The Egg Party' will now be a name stored on a USB stick that will be sent to the sun. It is the Parker Solar Probe. You too can go to the sun, in spirit.
I think this ticket relates to the story. I talk about the sun often in my first attempt at space mythology.
Thanks for reading. It is a bit all over the place. I am a shit editor.
Note: This is an album I push often. But I think it suits the piece. It is a reminder that we should not look at Russia as an evil caricature. It talks of their achievements during the space race, alongside the US ones. It has two tracks, Gagarin and Valentina, the first man and woman in space, both Russian:
The Race For Space: Public Service Broadcast
- The Egg Party
'CONSPIRACY ALERT: WORKING DOG FILMS/CONGLOMERATED TAXI COMPANIES OF THE CITY OF MELBOURNE/AUSTRALIAN PACIFIC AIRPORTS CORPORATION LIMITED VS. THE MELBOURNE PUBLIC TRANSIT SYSTEM' by The Egg Party
Okay. This one is for my buddy "Freestyle" Brock "Climbing". It is the first conspiracy I have ever written. The individuals who engineered this massive capitalistic plot are criminals who remain unpunished.
What I am saying is: get a train to the airport Melbourne, it's a fucking embarrassment.
- The Egg Party
(Also: In this piece I talk about the film house Working Dog. 2018 is the year of the Dog. Coincidence? I think not.)
I have been in Melbourne now for a week. Sitting in the Brunswick Bath spas, I spoke to Jack on the idea of location influencing your writing and he spoke of Graham Greene, travelling for his books. Greene used the vampiric approach to writing, sinking his teeth into different parts of the world.
This is the only story I have written solely on Weebly, my website website. This is me trying to mend bridges. I feel that I went overboard in my criticism of you, Weebly. This is also me passive-aggressively pointing out the fact, Weebly. So yeah, think about that website. I'm trying, what are you doing?
How do I feel being back in Australia? I am going to quote Graham Greene, who is quoting some other dude. Greene said that that 'fellow' said:
“You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
Honestly, I do not think this will be an enjoyable read. I am going to put it up now, after sitting a few hours and doing it super quick. The writing style is aimed at intentionally sharing my anxiety with you, in a way where I want you, the reader, to feel it and feel like you can easily reciprocate with me, letting me hold some of your own. Tell me a better solution for anxiety and I will consider it.
It is sunny and I am constantly glancing out the window, thinking I need to be outside. I think this story will to continue transform as I come back to it and pick at it from time to time. It is pretty loose but then that is how I've been since being in Melbourne, pretty loose, drinking lots, thinking about anything other than anything else, other, ever, sorry.
- The Egg Party
This is the best photo I have ever taken. I am not a photographer. It is not my specialty. But that is a limitation I am putting on myself. Maybe I can do it poorly, using whatever style I want.
All I ask is if you are one of those people who knows what my phone is like, what it is, know that all photos were taken by that green Monster.
This is a strong multimedia piece. I have done it a bit in the past. Today I will am going to go a bit nuts and do it lots. It will help add further context to the photo above. I think there is more to it than you think. Maybe not.
This photo is strange.
The flash of the phone reflected off the screen creates the forehead symbol, to show that Corben Dallas is indeed an element. He is the sun. He is integral for the use of the weapon. It takes two for the trigger to be pressed. The camera reveals his value. But it is not the camera of the movie. That camera works at showing Lelu.
The camera flash becomes his third eye.
Isn't that just crazy? Or not. Whatever. Anyway I was trying to quit/cut down on smoking and so I sat at my desk and thought about how to go about it. Allen Carr has failed so far. Who did I even lend that book to?
I really like my current desk. It is covered in a selection of all the bullshit I like. I eventually started writing about my day and so the result, this story 'Bonus', is mostly about today.
- The Egg Party
Oh man. I am not editing this one. I fucking hate this website for processing words. This blurb is stuck on bold. It is like it wants me to type obnoxiously. You know what, fuck you Weebly, I will write in capitals later so that I am not typing at your enforced intensity. I'll go one better, you son of a bitch.
This is a segment from a new story about consent. It is actually one of the characters from The Space Jerk. Though her name is now Lize not Liz. I hit it with The Device and as far as I can tell from the readings, it is way more futuristic.
And before you ask Consentualisation is a fake word. Go on, add it to your personal dictionary, s'not like it is an easy one to accidentally spell. I mean, really, I didn't expect anyone to ask. I would probably pronounce it in a way that sounds like some other reasonable word anyway. Man, I put the word IRL in this story. Twice, once in the later second half, if you ever read it all. Become a premium Choke and Stroke subscriber. Twice the choking, regular amount of stroking.
This will be read out in my Writing Class. I really do not feel comfortable reading it out loud. Hoooo, boy. Anyway. Onward. Oh man, props to David Cronenburg and the team for the image from Naked Lunch. I can't stop looking at it. Man, that guys stares. My eyes go all unfocused and I think about what I've done.
WARNING: TOPICS OF CONSENT, OF A SEXUAL NATURE. I DON'T THINK IT WILL GO IN THE WAY YOU EXPECT BUT STILL, WARNING ANYWAY. BECAUSE, SHIT, I'VE NEVER REALLY PUT ONE IN A STORY BEFORE. MAYBE IT WILL BE A THING. MORE CAVEATS.
Caveat: This is the longest description I have had on a piece. And not just because of this added addition. They are increasing in size. Is it because I want to distract you from reading? Is it shame? Is it because my mind is slowly slipping away like a wet cake? Is it because the prophecy is true? Is it because it's 3 am and I need to sleep for work? Is it because my tummy is full of cat food and warm beer and the can of spray paint is on the floor and I lack the manual detexterity to pick it up and watch more of Charlie? Is it because I wrote the word detexterity just before I was to finish and now am enamored by it? Is detexterity a combination of writing and dexterity?
Find out next time on Choke and Stoke, if Mr. Party manages to be suitably detexterious. The quote for today, which I will use in response to me writing for next time, comes today from Erik of Internet Comment Etiquitte:
"I’d rather be an invisible man with his dick nailed to a busy doorknob."
The second quote of the day, which I will use in response to my response, which was a response from someone else, is from David Wong, responding:
"If you are looking for sympathy you can find it in the dictionary between syphilis and shit."
- The Egg Party
So I have been obsessed with a few things lately. I started reading about Mir and was entranced by the strange station. I began thinking about it as the antithesis of Murphy's law. Anything that can go wrong will not go wrong. Strapped together, avoiding mulitple disasters, designed to last 5 years and lasting 15. This right here is amazing:
In one particularly egregious incident in 1998, American astronauts discovered that dirty water globules—some of which were roughly the size of basketballs—were casually free-floating behind some of the station's service panels. These gross liquid orbs, which were alternately brownish or cloudy white in color, had become miniature planets of activity for the opportunistic microbes that were attempting to commandeer Mir.
This story also came out of interest from two specific subreddits, r/botsrights and the antagonistic r/builttoserve. This was a further obssession. How crazy it is we have an empathic movement that is fighting for the rights of a group which is almost certainly not sentient. I can image objections to this. But I do not see it, in totality, as a bad thing.
This story is the first draft and I kinda wanna get the further one picked up. The order changes and stuff. Plus this is better than me saying, once again, the story is rough and I am unhappy WITH IN.
I wrote this for the magazine Lahar. I think it is getting produced next month. Or this month. I was thinking about whether or not I should put this up because of the publication. However, I think the 'readership' of this website and the readership of that publication do not intersect.
I was only allowed to use 2500 characters and that was an interesting exercise. I would've waffled on for a while longer had it not been for the limitation. It was interesting.
There is actually a company called Baked in Space. Here is their website: http://bakein.space/. What a crazy time to be alive. They are planning on baking the first space bread by 2018. The company is based in Bremen, Germany. They are going to send up a special oven that is designed specifically for the ISS. It bakes over a long time, slowly heating up then cooling down, to not let out any hot air pockets into the ISS. They will have the bread on board, to finally achieve that elusive goal: to eat a proper sandwich is space. It is a long way from the Corned Beef Disaster of 1965*. In fact, once they have achieved bread they will return that specifically grown yeast culture back from the ISS back to Earth so that you too will be able to bake and eat space bread. So, if you have little to look forward to then there is that, I guess.
Well there you go, waffle.
- The Egg Party