I haven't been writing much lately. So, here is a letter I sent to the film director Stephen Chow. I think it is the third fan letter I have ever done. Maybe I'll do more this year, maybe I'll do nothing. I certainly won't be doing a long blurbs.
- The Egg Party
Dear Mr Stephen Chow,
My name is xxxxx xxxx-xxxxx xxx and I am writing to you for two reason. The first is that I am a huge fan. I have watched your movies throughout my life. My Dad brought home a copy of Shaolin Soccer when I was a teenager. I watched it many times. As an adult, I heard that you were directing a remake of the monkey magic story. I was nervous and excited. You did not disappoint, Journey to the West: Conquering of Demons is one of my favourite movies. The second reason I am writing to you is because you saved my life.
In the summer of 2016 I almost died in a house fire. I had returned home after work and I was ready for bed. Instead of going to the attic, where my room was, I decided to watch a movie. I started the projector in the livingroom and decided to watch your gangster kung-fu movie Kung Foo Hustle. I laughed as I watched the Axe Gang cause havoc. Somewhere towards the end of the movie I fell asleep. It was not because I was entertained, I was exhausted.
Somewhere around 2am I woke up. The movie still playing on the screen. Disoriented, I looked at the images and realised that the colours of the projector screen wrong, they were not from your movie. My eyes focused and I realised I was looking at the refraction of a shifting orange flame. It took me a moment before I rose from the couch and, looking behind me, found that my house on fire. I panicked. I ended up running outside to try and put the fire out unsuccessfully. To make a longer story short, it didn't end well. The fire ended up burning through the floor of my room. If I went to sleep in my bedroom, the smoke would've choked me and I would have mostly likely died in my sleep. My point is, thanks for making your movie, it saved my life. Maybe if I had watched another film, I would have lost interest and gone to my bed. I am in your life debt. As the great Master Jinn recounts,
'He owes me what you call a life debt...
your gods demand that his life belongs to me now.'
Master Jinn is, of course, speaking about Jar Jar Binks. I wish to honour this interstellar tradition. If you ever need a fire killed, or you require help with an unruly group of axe wielding maniacs trying to destabilise your living situation, just give me the signal. Call me on +6xxxxxxxxxx. Or email me at email@example.com. I don't know if this will get to you, or maybe you receive letters about how you saved so-and-so's life all the time.
Thank you Mr Chow. And take care.
Or alternatively let me take care of you.
xxxxx xxxx-xxxxx xxx